So many things

It's been a while since I've blogged and I'm feeling a bit guilty. I wanted this blog to be an easier form of journaling, since it's hard for me to find the time to sit down and physically write what's going on in my daily life. I thought that it would be much easier to type my all of my thoughts and feelings down. I guess I was wrong. Oh well. Here goes try #2. Since my last blog, my daughter has grown in more ways then I can even count. She had her first day of school. Here's the picture of her on her very first day of school. I can't believe that the little girl that I gave birth to less than three years ago is going to school. I know that I'm a little bit biased, but I think that she's the cutest preschooler ever. She had a blast on her first day. She didn't even want to leave. The second day (the first day that I left) was a different story. She cried. I sobbed. I think that she cried less than I did (which is probably a good thing) but it was hard to leave her. I don't think that it was the fact that I was leaving her in the care of someone else, but the fact that my little girl is growing up. She will always be my baby girl, but she's now a preschooler - not even a toddler. She's now beginning to form opinions that are all her own. Thankfully it only took her three days of me leaving her before she stopped crying. She now loves to go to school and even asks to go on the weekends or days that we don't go. She loves her teachers, her friends and everything about school. She is so proud when she brings home a project. I'm so glad that she loves school. I know that the days are going to come when she doesn't even want to go, so I'm thankful that at least for now, I don't have to force her to go.

Another thing that has happened is that we got a new puppy. His name is Ollie. He's a red toy poodle. He can be a bit of a bruiser, thankfully he's so adorable, that you look past that. He loves to antagonize Mikie. I feel so bad. Mikie was just beginning to get along with Madison. Madi pulled on his hair and ears when she was a baby and toddler, and now that Madi's older, she finally understood that she couldn't pull Mikie's hair or ears. They were beginning to get along, and life was good, and now Mikie is having his ears bit and chased after by Ollie. I think that the two of them have a love/hate relationship. They love playing with each other, but as soon as one of them gets in the other's way - forget about it. It's DogWar 3 here at our house. Hopefully soon things will be back to normal around here.

And if that isn't enough, Lovee and I decided that we would take the plunge and buy a new house in Lake Tahoe. I love this house! It's so beautiful. God is so good. He has blessed us beyond measure. I can't believe it. We just got back from our first decorating adventure. We took the in laws and let me say they were a huge help. We got so much done. All of the furniture (with the exception of two twin mattresses, one nightstand and sectional couch) has been delivered and is in place. The kitchen is about 95% furnished, and we just need to purchase some more linens, some window treatments, and do a little bit of decorating, and it will be ready to rent out. I am so nervous that we won't be able to rent it out. But thankfully God knew about all of that when He gave us the opportunity to purchase it. I can't wait to go up and be able to ski the beautiful mountains and enjoy the house. I can't wait!

So, that's the happenings of this mommy in the last few months. Hopefully I'll get more thoughts down on paper and I can continue my journaling goal.

~JRM

Does it Ever Stop?

I'm wondering if life ever slows down? I can't believe how fast the summer has gone. Lovee's nephews were here all summer, we had a great time with them, and Madi had an awesome summer. She found her love of roller coasters, the beach, and she has really developed into her own person. In the midst of the summer, we finally finished our kitchen. Now we're working on whole house audio/visual stuff. I can't believe that one week from tonight I will be getting my little princess ready for her first day of preschool. It seems like just yesterday I was talking to the registrar at her school and thinking that this day would never get here...now it's less than a month away. Why do I get the feeling that i'm gonna blink and she's going to be going to kindergarten,then first grade, then junior high, high school and then college? I pray that it slows down a little big so that I can enjoy her more.

Contentment

After a long week that took us from a 36 hour trip in Las Vegas to meetings, dinner and an overnight stay at Santana Row, to watching our nephews for a few days, I am so glad to be at home with just my husband and daughter. No inlaws, family or friends (not that I don't love them all dearly - I do). It is just nice to be at home with out any one else around. Last night was glorious. Daniel made dinner on the grill, then we put Madi to bed, and enjoyed the quiet of our own family room watching Flip That House. We then took a late night dip in the jacuzzi that was absolutely incredible. Today has been just as relaxing, I just did some laundry and enjoyed being with my daughter. This is what bliss truly is!

Fourth of July Celebration

My fourth of July celebration was great! I am so thankful to live in a country where we have the freedoms that we do. We all know about them, so I don't need to repeat them, but I think that so often we forget that we live in a great country. Take away all of the politics, and drama that's going on right now, and get down to the point. We live in a phenomenal country that was founded on the very best principle's. I was overcome with joy at just participating in a neighborhood parade, seeing sheer excitement on my daughter's face as she waved her flag as it passed in front of us and spendidng quality time with my husband and daughter. I do have to say that I wish that my pap was still alive and could have been there at the parade. He loved parades....everything about them from the grandeour to the simplicity. From the floats to the kids laughing and waving. From the bands playing to the cheerleaders cheering. I miss him every day, but I know that he's watching me and my family, and some day I will get to see him again. And no matter what, I will carry on the tradition of watching or participating in a parade just to honor his memory.

JRM

Friendship

For the last few years, I've wondered if there is anything wrong with me when it comes to having friends. I can say that I've had two best friends in my life. My very first best friend was Marcy. We were six months apart in age, my mom and her parents went to high school together, so we were destined to be good friends. We did EVERYTHING together. During the summer, we would spend two or three days at her house, then we would be at my house for two or three days, and the cycle would continue. We were best friends until about the 3rd grade when she moved away. When I was in the 4th grade my 2nd best friend came into the picture. Rebekah and I had a lot of things in common and our personalities complimented each other well. Our friendship suffered a great deal when I moved here to California in 1991. The first summer I was here we talked on the phone once a week, and wrote often, but highschool and life took its toll, and we lost touch. We are still very good friends to this day. We talk about once every three months, but things have change for us: (a) we live 3000 miles apart - she still lives in Pittsburgh, and I in San Jose, and (b) she's made some decisions in her life that I do not agree with, and she knows that, but she also knows that I love her dearly, and if she needed me, I'd move hell or high water to help her. So basically for the past 16 years, I've been without a best girlfriend - you know the one that's not in your family, who you can share your deepest darkest secrets to, and just hang out and be girls with. I have my husband, and he is my ultimate best friend, and my sister, and let me tell you for us being 8 years apart, she's AMAZING but I'm longing for that special girlfriend.

There have been a few friendships since then that have come and gone. A few of which I am sad that they ended. I miss my friend Kristin. We participated in drama productions together, and were close for “a season” but we lost touch after my senior year, and her junior year of high school. We’ve reconnected through facebook, and I am glad that she’s doing well with her husband and adorable son. I hope that some day, I can see her. There’s one friendship that I wish that I had true closure on – my friendship with Sabreena. There’s a lot of history that I can go into depth about, but I don’t know if it’s necessary. For whatever reason, our true friendship was short lived. When I met her, I thought that we would be friends for ever, but that never happened. I have a feeling that this friendship – or lack thereof has had a profound effect on me. I don’t want to put myself out there to be hurt. I’ve tried to be a good friend to several people, but because of the relationship with Sabreena, It’s been hard for me. I have no idea why. I wonder if it’s because as a child through my twenties I always had people around me. I was at church, and friends just kinda happened. But when my dad left pasturing in 2002, the “instant” friends thing kinda vanished. I have a feeling that this lack of good girl friends is a generational thing. I learned that my grandmother didn’t have a best girlfriend and neither does my mom. I am determined to break the cycle. I want to have that kind of girlfriend relationship just because, and I have a feeling that I might have found it. It will take some work on my part, and I am determed to make it work. Not just because our husbands are friends, and our kids are close in age, but because she's a really awesome mom. The main reason that I need to learn how to be a good friend is that I have a little girl who needs to not follow in the footsteps of her mom, grandmother, and great grandmother. I want to teach her how to be a good friend, and be there for her when friends let her down. I want her to have best friends, and tons of them. More than she can count. I want to run her around to this friend’s house and that friend’s party. I want the best for her.

JRM

Frustration

My husband asked me this morning if I'm going to be in a bad mood again today. I told him that I am sorry, I seem to be in a funk, but that I would definitely try to "sweeten up" (as my dad used to tell me). He asked why I was so miserable, and I told him that I am so frustrated that the last work that was done on our kitchen was on Monday, and it's now Saturday, and the contractors aren't planning on being at the house until Monday. That's a whole week wasted. I could understand if there was one thing that they were waiting on, and that they needed that portion to be completed before they continued, but in my opinion that's not the case. They say that the granite fabrication process is taking longer than they thought, and that it won't be ready until Monday/Tuesday (it was supposed to be ready on Thursday/Friday). There's more than just the granite that needs to go in. The outside needs painted, the roof needs shingled, the lighting needs to be finished, the transitioin pieces from the hardwood to the carpet needs to be done, and a few more things. All of which do not require the granite to be installed to be worked on. This project was supposed to be completed on April 18, and we're 11 days shy of 2 months later. I WANT MY KITCHEN BACK! I want to cook a meal for my family, have my friends over and get back to normal life. Thankfully I like my contractors and I don't mind too much when they're here during the day. I'm probably not too happy with them at the moment, but in general, I like them. I will like them even more when they're all done and out of my house.

I have to admit that this medium of "blogging" allows me to get my frustrations out there and I don't have to take it out on my family. I am really enjoying this, and the blogs will definitely continue!

JRM

My First Blog

I sit here today when I should be cleaning my house, but no, I'm putting my feet up for a minute, here on my comfy couch thinking of all of the things that I want to say and accomplish with this blog. I guess for those of you who are interested, I will tell you a little about myself. My name is Jessica Miller. I just recently turned 30, and so far, I am loving it! I was born in Allison Park, Pennsylvania. I moved to Sunnyvale, CA when I was 14. I got married to the love of my my life - Daniel Miller - on April 21, 2001. Our daughter Madison was born on January 30, 2005. She is definitely our biggest joy. That's the basics, and probably over time, I will divulge more about me.

Anyway, I was driving home this morning after dropping of Madison at her grandparents. They are AWESOME in more ways than one- not the least of which is that they watch her on Thursdays so I can keep my sanity. I was thinking how much of who I have become is a direct result of her. My identity in the "corporate world" has ceased, and I'm learning to exist in a position that requires me to be available 24/7/365. It's funny....there are moments in the day that I wish that I could just have a few moments to myself and when those opportunities are granted, all I want is to be with her. I feel like a part of me is missing. Like a major body part of mine is temporarily not attached, and I can't wait until I get it back. I know that I have A LOT to say, but the cleaning bucket is calling my name, and I only have so much time until the bell tolls 3:30, and I have to go and pick her up again.

JRM